Some people can really mis-construe the most innocent of things.
Like yesterday when I went into the Men's room & offered to "hold it" for another man if he needed me to. He acted like I was hitting on him! That's just crAzY. Just being friendly, is all.
Or last week when I was in a stall and ran out of TP. I asked the guy in the next stall if he would "Give me what I need, cause I need it really bad, Stud" and he FREAKED out on me. I mean, WTF?
And I finally just stopped trying to be helpful. You wouldn't believe how many men misunderstood my offering them a mirror under the stall. I would even say "If you want what I got then take it from me, big boy". I ended up getting arrested on some trumped up charges. Well, I just pleaded guilty to spare my friends, family, members of the media, and the voting public the hassle of a trial. You know what the lawyers say; "It's better to just plead guilty to things you didn't do then go to trial." Too True.
I just hope no one ends up with some perverted idea, like I'm gay or anything. My voting record clearly shows I am in full support of Family Values.
Thank you for letting me clear this matter up. Vote

Republican!